Why Your Anxiety Comes Off As Anger, And What To Do About It


Disclosure: As stated in my Full Disclosure Policy I am not a licensed doctor. This is just general information on what worked for me and my anxiety.

It’s the end of the week and you should be happy since the weekend is coming, right?


Not this week anyway.

Maybe you feel so exhausted and tired.

You might be really tired of worrying.

Tired of thinking too much.

And tired of fearing the unknown or maybe your anxiety is telling yourself lies about things, which only creates more worries and fears.

Basically, you are tired of having anxiety.

In my experience this is the part where my so called high functioning anxiety, becomes more like low functioning anxiety.

Read more about why your anxiety comes off as anger, and what you can do about it when it does. #Anxiety #Mentalhealth #Selfcare #Personaldevelopment

If you read my article 5 Steps I Took To Get Rid Of My Health Anxiety  then you know that I have dealt with anxiety for most of my life.

But I haven’t completely gotten rid of my anxiety issues, they tend to flare up more during certain times of my life.

In high school and most of my college years, I had more of what I would consider high functioning anxiety.

Now in my adulthood/motherhood or whatever you want to call it, it hasn’t been so much high functioning.

It’s been more like I don’t give a crap if people know that I have anxiety.

Motherhood doesn’t exactly help anxiety. If anything it can make it worse.

Of course my anger or irritability comes off to others as well, mean.

So they may shy away or give me space, or sigh and tell me simmer down.

I hate that my anxiety can come off being angry towards others, including my children sometimes as well.

But often times it isn’t so much anger as it is being terrified of certain things.

So why does anxiety come off as anger for certain people?

1. Holding in your anxiety (not getting help from others) can manifest as anger

I am a very private person, particularly when it comes to my anxiety about personal things.  I can usually hold it in, keep it to myself and go on about my day.

That is typically when I consider my anxiety to be high functioning.

The keyword here is….usually.

But other times when I have more of a low functioning anxiety day or week my anxiety has a strange way of coming outwardly towards others as if I am angry.

Whether it is with my children, family members or even strangers on the street, I have learned that if I do not deal with my anxiety in some way, it will almost always come through as anger or irritability towards others.

And even sometimes with myself.

Not talking about what is making you anxious, and not having reassurance from others, or anything similar can basically bring out this strange way of “dealing” with your anxiety.

When in fact you really aren’t dealing with it at all.

That is where your anger and irritability comes into play. There are a lot of people who when they think of anxiety they think of a person who is biting their nails, fidgeting, or not looking other people in the eyes.

So if they see that you are clearly angry about something, they probably have no idea that you are actually really anxious since you aren’t doing the “normal” things that people with anxiety do.

2. The fear of the unknown (or known) is causing your anxiety to spiral into anger

There are times when I am having some health anxiety and of course I believe that I have some serious disease, and I think about all of the horrible things that could happen to me.

Or what “will” happen to me, depending on the mood I am in.

If I am “sure” that I have this so called disease I may be so sure in my mind that something bad will happen to me.

So of course the fear is so intense that it makes me irritable when others try to talk to me, because all I am thinking about when someone is asking me about something random is the fact that I will be dying from this so called serious illness.

I mean it is all I think about some days.

And if you are like me, certain worries can bother you all day as well.

It can bother you the minute you wake up, when you are eating breakfast, sitting at work or home, and when you lay down at bed at night.

It is no wonder that a person becomes fearful and irritable when their anxiety-ridden thought process gets interrupted by someone who wants to ask how their day is going.

I mean how dare they ask you about your day when you are having serious anxiety.

But the problem is if they do not know that you are having anxiety, how are they going to be able to help you or not take it personal when you sound irritable to them?

This is where you should communicate, and it doesn’t have to be specific if you do not want it to, about how you are experiencing anxiety at the moment, and that you will get back to them once you are feeling a little more calm.

How to calm down when your anxiety is coming outwards as anger?

First, ask yourself what is making you anxious in the first place?

  • Is there anything that you could do to calm yourself down, at least for a little bit?

If I am experiencing severe irritability stemming from anxiety some of the things that I do is to put down my phone and go sit outside by myself or go sit outside and play with my children with no distractions.

That may sound like it wouldn’t work, but you may be surprised at what works sometimes for anxiety.

This is especially true if I have spent the entire day using my phone to read about diseases that I may have. Do you know how much worse that actually makes health anxiety?

It can be exhausting at the end of the day, so by putting my phone down it gives me a break to just sit and breathe in fresh air and clear my mind a bit.

  • Other responses to your anxiety could be breathing exercises, meditation, prayer, or anything else that you think will lower your anixety quickly.

But you should really learn to deal with the anxiety for the long term as well.

Maybe for you this means seeing a therapist or getting on prescribed medication.

Learning how to deal with your anxiety will help prevent a lot of your future discomfort and excessive worries, so when it does creep up on you, you do not feel like you have to act irritable towards others or come of as being this big, mean, angry person.

Holding in your anxiety can absolutely manifest itself into anger towards others, but by creating more healthy ways to deal with your anxiety this can hopefully be the key to fixing this issue.

Read more about why your anxiety comes off as anger, and what you can do about it when it does. #Anxiety #Mentalhealth #Selfcare #Personaldevelopment

Disclosure: As stated in my Full Disclosure Policy I am not a licensed doctor. This is just general information on what worked for me and my anxiety.