The dreaded small talk, yes a lot of people probably hate it, but especially…
Why Highly Sensitive People have such a Difficult Time with Change
It has been a while since I have posted a blog post. Yikes! I started a different job back in September (way more hours than I have ever worked) and at first I promised myself that instead of posting one blog post a week, I would post once every two weeks. Then my hours starting creeping up, so I changed my goal to once a month. Yeah, that didn’t work out at all! Maybe I should have reread my article on meeting goals?
Despite being really busy with life I have had some changes in my life. I mean who hasn’t? Some have been positive and some have been really difficult. It’s life, right?
The truth is, it has been really, really difficult in many aspects.
It’s uncomfortable, it’s uneasy, and it can also be really hurtful depending on what the changes are. If you are a highly sensitive person like me you probably take it very personal. For many highly sensitive people these changes can make you or break you. Cheesy I know, but it’s really true. As HSP, we deal with these changes quite differently than most others.
1. We aren’t always as vocal about what bothers us
Other people may know about the changes in our lives, but often times we do not sit and really talk about it with others. Like really getting down to the fine details about what happened, what we did or did not do wrong, how we are feeling and what we wish will happen. It is just sometimes too much at once and it may take some time to think through and process how we will deal with these changes.
We also may feel that we do not want to put the burden of our difficult changes on others or maybe we do not want to come off as whiny. The truth is when we go through difficult changes we really need time to sort through our thoughts before presenting them as “issues” to others.
2. It’s exhausting
Changes can always be exhausting. Maybe you are constantly thinking about what could have been done differently, or what else you could have done or why things happened the way they did. As HSP, we not only focus on our thoughts and feelings, but we also focus on others’ as well. So we think about what we could have done differently to make them feel better or how we could have avoided the changes to make them not so upset or whatever. We take it so serious and we almost dwell on it daily
3. We question almost everything
We want to know why- we don’t just want to find out the answer, we want to know the deeper meaning. Basically, we want the answers to our questions or concerns because it bothers the crap out of us! This is exactly why change can make us exhausted- we keep searching and searching for our answer only to find that maybe we are afraid of any possible conflict that may come from it so we avoid it altogether on some occasions.
Or maybe it is even more confusing- you want to know the answers, but you are afraid to find them out. Confrontation can be your worse enemy, especially if you are an INFJ. This can also mean that we can hold onto anger longer than others- even if it is something really small. Because we never find those answers that we want, we either just keep guessing or make assumptions.
If the change has something to do with rejection (thinking along the lines of relationships) this can cause even deeper questions that we may never get the answers to. Nobody likes feeling rejected, but for HSP we carry this with us for a long time (read below).
4. If the change means we failed- we take it really personal
This kind of goes back to rejection or feeling rejected. If we find out that we are being rejected it really takes a hit to our (probably already) low self-esteem or maybe it’s just the way we are?
Instead of just moving on we think about it, and think about it some more. Hint reading the above paragraph about how it is exhausting.
But it’s not even just that- even if the change means someone else failed us guess what? We still take that personal sometimes as well. We get those questions in our heads again about what we could have done differently and everything else.
Are you a HSP? If so, how do you deal with difficult changes in your life?