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How To Live A Good Life If You Are Not A Passionate Person
Passion. The truth is that some people have it, and some people don’t.
In my Introduction blog post I talked about being frustrated about not having a particular passion and in general not feeling very passionate about anything. The thought of not having a passion bothered me to the point of where I went to many different self-help websites and listened to many podcasts basically trying to figure out how to find my passion.
You may hear it all of the time from different people, “You have to have a passion!” or “Just find what you are passionate about and you will be happy.” At least I felt like I was being told that by so many different people whether it was in person or in another blog or podcast.
I couldn’t help but wonder if it was even possible to have a good life if I wasn’t a passionate person. I just wanted someone to tell me how to find my passion- it was difficult and frustrating that I couldn’t find that perfect thing or idea.
Months went by and I couldn’t find something that I was truly passionate about, and I soon realized that I have never really had a particular passion, so I decided that it was safe to say that I probably do not have a passion, and if I were to continue looking for it I was going to probably end up even more frustrated.
Was this even possible? Does that make me a unique in a way? Surely I am not the only person who feels this way.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t really abnormal at all that I couldn’t find my passion.
Of course, I care about a lot of things. Such as my kids, my family, friends, music, mental and physical health, mindfulness, caring for others, and current events just to name a few.
One may say that that you can have multiple passions, but I didn’t really see that as describing myself. I enjoy a lot of things, but I really was not passionate about all of those things.
What Is The Meaning Of Passion?
Take a look some of the definitions of passion according to www.dictionary.com:
any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
strong sexual desire; lust.
an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything:
a passion for music.
The sexual definitions are not what I am meaning when it comes to the word passion in this instance. That is a whole ‘nother subject, and I am not about to there. The other definitions are the type of passionate I am looking for. I wanted to find something that I truly loved and felt enthusiastic about.
As I mentioned above, a person can care about a lot of things, but they don’t have to necessarily be passionate about them.
For example, my kids- do I love them? Of course. Will I write about them on this blog? Yes, but I am not necessarily passionate about teaching parenting advice or just simply writing about my kids 24/7. (Sorry kids!)
How To Have A Good Life If You Are Not A Passionate Person
As time went on and I realized that I do not need a certain passion to live a fulfilling life, I started focusing more on what I am good at, but not so much passionate about.
So how do you have a good life if you are not a passionate person and what do you do if you can’t find what you are passionate about?
Step 1: If you think more about your strengths and things you are good at, but not necessarily passionate about, I am sure you can find that you can live a good life even if you are not a very passionate person.
For example, instead of worrying about that you can’t find a certain passion, focus more on that awesome social skill that you have. Or maybe the fact that you are the most efficient person in your office.
Or the fact that you can cook supper, clean up and have all the kids ready for bed in the same time your husband uses the bathroom. Hey, I have totally heard of this happening. That is true skills right there!
In my life, I focused on my strengths, despite being an introvert and apparently passionless. This is where I came up with the idea to not only start a blog to help identify with others, but also to name my blog name The Passionless Introvert.
Step 2: Try different things, especially try something that you wouldn’t normally do. You may actually find that you love it, or maybe you will find that you don’t like it. If that happens just move on and find something else to do. Maybe try that kickboxing class that you have been seeing at your local gym.
Step 3: Just stop worrying if you can’t find a passion. It may come to you later even if you aren’t trying. So just relax, don’t overthink every little detail, and enjoy your life more.
In fact, when I stopped looking for an exact passion, I found myself happier. I was even more relaxed than I was when I was desperately trying to find that “true” passion. I picked up old tasks that I used to enjoy (playing my guitar for example) and found new ideas to try (new workout routine).
On days I didn’t feel like doing those tasks I didn’t let myself get upset about not completing it. That way I didn’t feel like those tasks were once again just failed attempts at finding my passion, but rather just fun things I liked to do.
Will You Ever Find A Passion?
Perhaps the journey to find your true passion will take years, and this rings very true to me in a lot of cases.
How many times have you heard about a person who works at a job that they don’t feel is very fulfilling or they are not passionate about it at all? Then one day they decide to work in a completely new field and they find what they are passionate about- at 57 years old. They may decide to start their own business and say goodbye to the regular 9-5 job. I am sure you have heard of this happening many times to different people!
Will I end up finding my passion in the future, just like the above example of the person finding their passion at 57 years old? Absolutely! (Will I have to change my domain name then?).
I definitely wouldn’t be upset if I did eventually find a true passion, but I can honestly say that I am done trying very hard to find it. If it comes, it will come. And surely then I can utilize my strengths in order to help build up that passion.
Until then, I will continue to enjoy the things that I already enjoy and focus on moving forward and work on understanding myself better.
Do you struggle with the fact that you can’t find a true passion? In what ways does this affect you?