Have you ever felt like you are constantly searching for something? Something more, bigger…
4 Different Ways To Live A Happy Life As A Shy Introvert
Disclosure: Some of the links listed in this article are affiliate links, which means if you buy something from my link I earn a small commisson at no extra cost to you! I only link products I have used. Please read my Full Disclosure Policy here.
I am sure most of you have heard of that term before.
I have seen more articles about introverts these past few years more than ever before. Unless I just didn’t notice these types of articles because I never realized that I was, in fact, an introvert rather than just “shy.”
In my previous blog post, I talk about how the word “passionless” came to mind when deciding my blog name The Passionless Introvert. Now I will talk about how the word “introvert” came to be apart of the name of my blog too.
Of course, introverts do not have to be shy, but there are introverts who are shy, and this describes me perfectly.
Like I have found out, because of the two combinations it can be difficult to live a happy and fulfilling life if you are a shy introvert.
I have always been fairly shy- for the most part.
In elementary school, I was generally very shy, but I would occasionally talk to people who were not my close friends.
I definitely had some social anxiety as I got a little older (and still do have some to this day) mixed in with my shyness and introversion, which didn’t help my situation either.
It wasn’t that I was just shy though– and it wasn’t that I didn’t like people. I loved and enjoyed being around many different types of people, but I needed time alone otherwise my mood would decrease and my anxiety would increase.
A full days worth of socialization was exhausting just to think about (and still very much is).
People close to me would say things like, “Quit being so anti-social!”
I definitely was not anti-social- to a certain extent. I went out and did fun things with friends, but as the day ended I found myself exhausted. I just wanted time alone to reflect on my day.
And other times I was just too shy to go up and meet new people.
How To Live A Good/Fulfilling Life As A Shy Introvert
Being a shy introvert, in particular, can put you in some tricky situations that is for sure. On one hand, you may love going out occasionally, but going right up to someone you do not know very well and socializing part may be an issue that comes up. It is hard to find new relationships because you feel as though it is hard to even go up to someone and start talking to them.
This can create many discomforts and make it seem as though you go through life walking on eggshells.
So, how do you live a good life as a shy introvert, and make yourself feel happy?
1. Put yourself in some uncomfortable situations
You have probably heard this all the time, but it is so true. You need to put yourself in some uncomfortable situations in order to grow as a person.
For example, let’s say your spouse or partner has a work event that you get an invite to. You may be a little excited to go because you haven’t had much adult interaction lately. But on the other hand, you are worrying about so many people being there at the event and also how exhausted you will be by the end of it. Just go!
You may very well surprise yourself once you realize that you actually enjoyed your night when you get home. Maybe you met some awesome new people.
But, know your limits. You don’t have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation every single day in order to grow as a person. Take it slow and learn what you can handle as you go through the situations.
2. Realize things usually are not as scary as they seem
Have you ever had to go somewhere, perhaps a certain social event and you just completely dread thinking about going?
Maybe you get invited to a party of some sort and you start thinking of everything that could go wrong.
- You will stumble over your words
- You will make awkward small talk
- You will embarass yourself
- You will feel too exhausted to really enjoy yourself
Those are just some example, and if you have social anxiety along with being introverted and shy those probably sound very familiar to you.
By the end of the social event you will probably realize that it wasn’t as scary or exhausting as you thought it would be.
Or maybe it did go as bad as you thought it would. What do you do then? Lesson learned, and now you know your boundaries and what you can take as an introverted/shy person.
If you are having these thoughts before a social event try this:
- Think of three different social events that you went to before that did not turn out as bad as you thought they would. Keep reminding yourself of those times, instead of having that worry in your mind that you will somehow make yourself look awkward or be too exhausted at the event.
3. Embrace your introversion/shyness
Embrace your introversion/shyness! But, don’t mistake this for using this as an excuse to everything in life that makes you uncomfortable.
For example, do not automatically say “no” to something just because you are introverted/shy. What this does mean is that you should know your limits in situations that will be too much for you to handle.
Get a feel of what you know you can stand and what you cannot stand to be around.
The day I learned how to embrace my introversion and shyness was when my boss and I were having a conversation about different personalities and he said to me, “You are an introvert and a sensitive and shy person, and that is ok.”
I really had no idea what the term “introvert” meant at that time, but he, as a psychologist, described himself as being an introvert. Having another person (a psychologist at that) tell me that it is ok to be a shy introvert made me feel a little better about the term and concept around it.
He pointed over to a book that was located in our office called *“Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength,”* by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D.
I ended up reading it, and was completely captivated by it; it explained my life so well. I felt like I finally found something that explained my personality so well that didn’t include the terms anti-social, quiet or rude.
If you are struggling with your shy introverted personality remind yourself that despite what others may think it isn’t that you do not like people. It is just that a lot of socializing can exhaust you. You need time alone to help yourself be a better person.
4. Let others know outright that you are shy/introverted
This can go along with step number three in regards to embracing your inner introversion/shyness. Often times there are misconceptions about being an introvert and/or a shy person.
For example, you may be seen as ‘rude’ in certain social situations. Do not be afraid to just tell another person outright, “Hey, I am going to be honest, I am a shy introvert, so excuse me if I come off as rude. I definitely don’t mean for it to sound that way!”
Letting the other person know you are introverted and/or shy will not only let another person know what you are about, but it will probably give you a boost of confidence if the other person knows more about you. You can relax a bit, and not feel compelled to second guess everything you say or do.
This can even work with family members or friends who you are already close with; they actually may not realize that you are a shy introvert. They may have their own ideas and thoughts about your personality, but do not fully understand what you are really about.
Be open and honest with them in order to help them understand where you are coming from.
So let yourself grow and experience new things, realize that things are not as scary as they seem, embrace your inner introversion/shyness, and be open and honest with others.
These concepts will not guarantee that you won’t be shy in any situation again or that every situation will be easy after doing them. But if you keep working at it, the easier it will be as time goes on.
Do you have find yourself having a hard time accepting that you are introverted and shy? What difficulties do you experience and in what type of settings?
*Disclosure: Some of the links listed in this article are affiliate links, which means if you buy something from my link I earn a small commisson at no extra cost to you! I only link products I have used. Please read my Full Disclosure Policy here.